Living with Anxiety*

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This is not a pretty subject, because Anxiety isn't pretty. Its hard and horrible and debilitating and something I have lived with for the majority of my life. 

I have had anxiety since I was 12 years old, but I didn't realise it until I was 18 years old. For the longest time I was told I was just a worrier and I should just get over it and stop thinking about whatever was making me nervous. I have memories of being 12 years old hiding in my room after school begging the phone not to ring and be for me, My heart would pound out of my chest whenever the phone went. I had no idea why I felt that way I just knew I did. 

It only got worse as I got older. I would get so anxious of things I couldn't control to the point where I would feel physically sick. But back then no one really knew about anxiety disorders so how was I ever to know, that I wasn't weird, odd or broken because of these things that in reality were minute but they made my heart race and hands shake. It wasn't until I found a YouTuber called Zoella who talked about anxiety that it finally came together, and I could start to understand why I felt that way.

When I was 18 it started to get worse, and I had to tell my parents, they didn't understand until I explained to them what I was going through, they were supportive and helped me when I needed them.

After that I moved out for university and then it started again but this time I knew ways to manage it and how to fight against it, I even turned to the services at my university who I knew could help. I still struggle with it now, but I accept it now, its a fight I have to deal with everyday but I know how to fight back when it gets to overwhelming. Telling my friends why sometimes I would decline invitations to go out or drink is tough but my friends are incredibly supportive and they know when to offer a hand to help me when I need it. 

Mental health was always something I was ashamed of talking about when I was younger because I thought everyone would think I was being dramatic or seeking attention (which many people did, those people are no longer part of my life) but growing up I found out that I shouldn't be ashamed of something I cant control. I've learnt how to deal with it and live with it, it doesn't always have to put a stop to my life and what I'm doing, I've learnt how to fight against it when I can, and ask for help when I need it, this is especially hard for me. 

Anxiety isn't pretty, but neither is fighting a losing battle.
I don't plan to lose this one.

I was asked to write about my experiences with Mental Health by Millercare ,  they provide living and disability aids to help those with a disability, chronic illness and mental health in order to give them the best quality of life that they can. They are an amazing website who help so many people have a better quality of life.

Write again soon xxx




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My Favourite Holiday Memories*

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A view from an airplane window on the sun setting on the horizon

Hi everyone, its getting to that time of year when everyone starts thinking about the holidays and places they want to travel to and it made me realise that I haven't had a holiday in five years, and it made me laugh because I didn't even realise, but it made me think back to the places i have visited and loved and cherish those memories because they were only a few of them but they meant a lot when I was experiencing them. So when Holiday Gems contacted me asking if I would like to share my favourite memories from my holidays I said yes, the few holidays I have been on in my life have been some of the best memories I have and I will always cherish them.

Llandudno


Llandudno was a benchmark place for me and my family growing up, I spent the majority of my childhood in Wales and fell in love with the country and its beautiful towns and scenery. Every holiday we would visit Llandudno because my parents have a history with the seaside town and I had relatives there growing up who we would go visit. It was always a treat whenever we went, we would look through the town, spend some time shopping, I used to go into a pagan shop which would terrify my mum, (which I found hilarious) and then my family would make our way to the pier where you get to see the most breathtaking view when the sun is out. The pier is filled with vendors and arcades, it is impossible to not have a good time whilst you're there. My family would always get ice cream to have whilst e walked around (One year this resulted in a seagull flying over my head and stealing my ice cream, my family thought it was hilarious ... it was not)  I even once found the TARDIS on the pier and being the Whovian that I am, I stopped or a picture or two with it. After all this we would go visit my relatives and have dinner with them in a local pub, it was always a lovely way to catch up with them.

Benalmadena

People having fun swimming in the blue ocean and relaxing on the beach shore on a summer day

Now Benalmadena is without a doubt my most favourite holiday I have ever been on in my entire life. I went when I was 14 years old and I will never forget it. I had only been to Spain once before in my life but only when I was very young so I have very little memories therefore this trip was my first real memory of Spain and it did not disappoint. The area was breathtaking and the life there was mesmerizing. There was so much to do, the beach was idyllic, even at one point the sand was too hot to stand on with bare feet. The local market was incredible that even me and my Dad spent a while afternoon just exploring what it had to offer and the food was outstanding. My first venture into Spanish cuisine and I was not disappointed. My favorite memory from that holiday was me and my family going to a water park that was close by and having the best time ever. It is not a holiday I will forget.

And Finally

Betws-y-Coed


Now this place has a special place in my heart and has done since I visited for the first time when I was 10. Betws-y-Coed is a village in Conwy and it is one of my favourite places of all time. I never have a bad time whilst I'm there and I doubt I ever could. Me and my family visited here on our many family holidays to Wales whilst I was a child and this place to this day makes me want to return. My favourtie memory here was from the first time I ever visited, Betws-y-Coed if you have never been honestly feels like it should be in a fairytale it is so picturesque and beautiful. For such a small village there is a lot to do so when my family visited we had a lot to do, we went into the quaint little shops that line the streets selling everything from homemade fudge to the newest gadget. There was even a little train ride for children that me and my younger brother went on whilst my parents got us drinks and food for a picnic in the most beautiful field that is almost the counterpoint of the village. On sunny days it is the most beautiful place that I couldn't recommend to people more. 

So there are my favourite holiday memories, hopefully I will be making more soon.

Write again soon xx  


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Treating Myself with Hunkermoller*

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Sian Padded Underwired Longline Bra

Hey Everyone, this is a post that is a little different for me, as I have never really spoken about fashion on this blog, never mind Lingerie, however when Hunkermoller reached out to me I jumped at the chance to work with them and help show people the beautiful pieces that have. 

Now I have never been that body confident, I have my moments sure when I genuinely love my body and then there are days when you pick at any flaws with it. The latter days are more frequent and so looking at myself in the mirror is something I try to avoid.  

Personally a way I have found to help boost my confidence is to wear Underwear I feel good in. This is where Hunkermoller comes in, they have a huge range of  Lingerie in different styles and fits to suit everyone. You can even find your size here and everything from T- shirt Bras to Sport Bras to even Swimwear. All the pieces are so pretty and I couldn't decide when I first stared looking at their incredible range

After a while of debating between what to go for I decided on the Sian Padded Underwired Longline Bra (above) and honestly it is so pretty. I genuinely feel confident when I wear it. The birdcage detail on the front and lacy material adds so much charm to the bra.I adore the colour, the pretty pale pink tone is really lovely and compliments the design of the bra.

  I would be lying if I said that the bra would cheap, as start from £12 for a basic bra and then the price goes up, but hand on heart the products are worth it, they will last for a long time. Mine is a really sturdy material that I know will last for longer than the ones I buy at shops like Primark or New Look.

 It is a little cliche to say that Underwear makes you feel good, but with this Bra, I do. I feel good when I wear it, and a bit of body confidence is always good. I highly reccomend having a look on their websites they have so many amazing pieces I wish I had the money to buy them all.

Write again soon x    


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How I Practice Self Care*

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Self Care has become a priority for me in the past couple of months for the simple reason of, I don't look after myself, or better yet I don't care for myself. Not in a negative way just I don't give myself a chance to focus on me and how I am doing.
Treat Yourself

When life gets hectic, you need to take a step back and breathe, because for me is when I don't give myself a break with work and university. The way I de-stress and take some time for myself is treating myself to a little purchase, now this can be something big or small, It can range from a book to a new dress, or if I really want to splurge I will go for a Luxury Perfume Gift Set . These aren't often occurrences, but it is a nice little pick me up, when I need cheering up.
Have a Bath 
I will always say one of the best ways to relax and take some time for yourself and care for yourself is to have a bath. There is something so calming about baths. It gives you alone time with your thoughts, no outside distractions. You can forget about your life and enjoy the hot water enveloping you. The hot water soothes your muscles and relaxes you both mind and body. For me it is my first port of call when I need to relax and give myself some self care.
 Read a book
Books, are my solace and have been since I was little. Escaping into a fictional world helped me to get away from my life when I found it to be too much. Over time I became a huge bookworm, and I wouldn't have it any other way. It spawned a love of reading and writing for me. To this day there is nothing like settling down with a good book for a couple of hours and escaping and it is such a treat for me when I get to do this due to my busy schedule of University, Work, Exercising and Dating. It lets me retreat into worlds more brilliant than my own and I love it.A reader lives more than one life and I love every life I lived through books. 

 Listen to an Audiobook/Podcasts

This is a new thing to me. I have suddenly started listening to audiobooks and podcasts. The majority of what I listen to are Non fiction books and topical podcasts. There is something I find interesting in listening to how someone else thinks and the words they choose when they are talking to no one. I am currently to audio books about self empowered, which genuinely raises my mood and makes me feel like I can do anything, which I have to admit is a great feeling. With podcasts, I like listening to ones that talk about current topics, whether they are about literature, culture or even tinder fails. I find them fascinating.
 
Use a Facemask/ Cleanse my skin

Now self care isnt just about taking scare of your mind, hear and soul, it also applies to your actual body. I will be the first to admit that I do not take care of my skin, I leave my make up on overnight regularly. My skin care routine consists of a moisturiser, primer and cleanser to remove it at the end of the day. Using a face mask or a actual cleanser is such an infrequent treat for me that it really feels like I am taking care of myself. Its a treat knowing I have taken time for myself and I feel better for it. 

These are just a few ways I like to practice Self Care. Please let me know how you practice Self Care, I am always looking for new way.
Write again soon x

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*This post was sponsered by Clive Christian
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This Year Will Be Different

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Photo by Jacob Hilton on Unsplash
Last year was a lot. It was filled with new starts, goodbyes, a few big and little changes and most of all a lot of personal growth. 

2017 was the year I grew up. ( I think ) You know when life throws so much at you and you have either two choices; crumble under it all (trust me I felt like doing that a lot) or you get through it because you have to. I did the latter. To say that there were low points in my life last year would be an understatement, I lost people I loved and said goodbye to things I cherished. There were times when I wasn't happy for a long time, but there were so many good points too, that made me so happy. 

I found new friends and grew my already loved friendships more. I grew in confidence both in myself and appearance, a surprise for me since I have battled with body confidence since as long as I can remember. I got amazing news and saw plans become realities and actually made a few dreams of mine come true, which is insane when I had wished for them for so long. 

Although I got through 2017 with a few scraps, I healed the majority of my wounds and loved myself for the triumphs I had gained. But there is one thing I know to be true.

THIS YEAR WILL BE DIFFERENT

This year I am going to be so much more than I ever was, last year was like standing on a spring board patiently waiting and this year is when I ready to jump and go for whatever comes for me. I am living in a new city, living a life solely to pursue my dreams (yes that cliche I know but its true) and I am not letting any opportunity get away from me.  

It feels like my life has been leading up to this point in my life and there is no way I am not going to make the most of it. It would be a crime to myself if I did. This year will be the year I won't give up, I won't back down, I won't think less of myself and I most certainly won't accept less than I deserve. 

This year will be different. I'll make sure of it

Write again soon x


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Places I Want to Travel to in 2018.

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2017 has been quite a year for me. A lot has changed, I have done so many things such as move house and travel to places I have never been before. I love to travel and this is one thing I want to continue in 2018, so when Destination2 contact me about working with them and talk about my travel Bucket List for 2018 I was more than happy to say yes. So without further ado here is my 2018 travel Bucket List.

Verona, Italy



This has been on every bucket list I have ever had. I had loved the country since I was little, from seeing it in films and pictures and would love to go there for myself. The city is incredibly beautiful and full of history, including the setting of Shakespeare famous play, Romeo and Juliet. I have loved Romeo and Juliet, since I first studied the play in primary school. I would love to go and see La casa de Guillieta and see the famous balcony. The landscape is stunning and historic. If there's one place that I could only visit next year it would be here.

Scotland



I am determined to actually tick this off my list in 2018. It is so easy to travel to and so close so there is no excuse not to.  Friends and family have gone to Scotland and said nothing but good things. I would particularly like to visit Edinburgh during the Fringe Festival and the Isle of Skye.  The highlands seem so beautiful, it would be incredible to explore them and see the historical buildings and ancient castles from times past. The lush green countryside would be an idyllic escape from the city living I have been used to since childhood.   

Oxford



Until this year I never expected that I would want to visit Oxford. I recently went to a conference at Oxford Brookes University and we went out for drinks afterwards, and so we had to walk through the city. I fell in love with it instantly and I can not wait to return. The architecture is breathtaking, it is obvious that the city has a long and prestigious history. When I return I will spending my time there admiring the buildings, Universities and libraries. It may not be on everybodies travel bucket list but it has proven itself to me that it is worthy of a full visit to see everything it has to offer.

South Korea



For the past couple of years I have become obsessed with South Korea and practically everything to do with it. The Language, the history, the culture and the food. If money wasn't an issue, I would be on a plane headed there as soon as possible. South Korea has so many incredible places to go to such as Seoul, Jeju, Hongdae and so many other places. I would love to visit the palaces that are there as well, as I have loved watching Korean historical dramas as of late and would love to see one in real life for myself. It would also give me a chance to try and learn to speak and read Hangul. 

Paris



Ah, Paris. The city of love and light. It is beautiful there, there is no denying that, it has so much to offer. No wonder the majority of people will visit the city at some point in their lives. I haven't made it there yet, but I hope in 2018 I will. I want to walk along the Seine, visit the Lourve and see the Mona Lisa with my own eyes, do everything a tourist can do whilst in the city and also make a quick trip to Shakespeare and Co. to pick up some books, and of course try some of the treats form the famous french patisseries. 

So there is my travel bucket list for 2018. I hope that I can tick some of these off next year, if not there is always next year and the year after that. It is a bucket list after all. 

Write again soon xxx
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Ice Skating at the Tower of London

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It is well and truly the Christmas Season, so its time to get the Christmas tunes on, dust off your old Christmas jumpers and start buying mince pies and mulled wine. It is no secret that I love Christmas, and when I say I love Christmas, I mean I LOVE Christmas. 

So when I was contacted to attend the press night of the Tower of London Ice Rink, I was more than happy to accept the invitation.

Not only was this my first blogger opportunity since living in London, but the first Christmas related thing I have done this year. Also a little known fact that I adore Ice skating, (partly because of the winter Olympics and partly because of Yuri on Ice!) Although I have once been Ice Skating once before. I was more than happy to give it a try, and at the Tower of London of all places! 

When I arrived, it was impossible to not be blown away by the Tower of London and how it had been decorated to accommodate and reflect the ambiance of the Ice Rink. On the side on the Tower itself there were projections of Snowflakes that made the building look incredibly festive and beautiful. 
Once the event began I headed straight for the ice rink.

 I went to get some Ice Skates and headed to the Rink. Im going to be honest when I first got on the ice, I was practically like Bambi. It was quite nerve wracking since I had only been ice skating once before in my life. It took me about half an hour and a friendly fellow blogger to help me stay on my feet and get me to feel comfortable on the ice. (He was a very good skater so he was doing laps around me after helping me) 

After I had a fair amount of time on the ice, I had started talking to a group of students who were lovely and invited me to sit with them and enjoy the drinks that were offered. After a little while chatting we were offered to have a tour of the Tower itself.
Now I am quite a history and architecture nerd, so I was more than happy to go on this tour. We were led on the tour by one of the Guards (Beefeater) of the Tower. He told us everything from the history of the tower to the everyday running of it. I truly enjoyed it and the Tower buildings are beautiful, I truly felt that I learnt a lot.

I had an incredible time at this event. It really got me into the christmas spirit and I met some really lovely people and made some friends. I would certainly recommend paying a visit whilst it is still open. 

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Wrote again soon ! xx
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