Books I read in April

Hi Everyone!
April has really been a month where I gotten back into my books (especially after shops opened once again, and I had a little trip into Waterstones) The list of books I read in April was more varied for me than my average reading month, and I really enjoyed that, I love discovering new genres and authors. and so without further ado, here are the books I read in April .

1. Six of Crows - Leigh Bardugo 
  Now with the Shadow and Bone Netflix adaptation being released in April I couldn't not read the Six of Crows. I will admit I am a fan of the original Grishaverse, but this books blew me away. The characters were so much more complex and intriguing. Now I'm not normally one for a heist style plot, but oh my god this book keeps you on the edge of your seat, praying that the Crows complete their heist. A true joy til the end to read ***** 5Stars




2. The Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan

Yes, so this is technically 5 books but since it's a series I though I'd bundle them together.This is a series I have had in my collection for probably over 10 years and yes I have already read it, but a little while ago I remembered that I never actually finished the full series including the Heroes of Olympus series. Therefore a re-read a required, I read through the 5 Percy Jackson stories and will be continuing with the Heroes of Olympus series next. This series is one that just fills me with nostalgia for growing up. A series I will always recommend ***** 5 Stars 

3.Crooked Kingdom - Leigh BardugoI had to finish this duo-logy! Like how could I not?! Kaz, Inej, Jesper, Wylan, Nina and Matthias, has barely survived their infiltration of the Ice Palace and made it out alive. To say this book has enough twists and turns would be an understatement. You genuinely feel like you are part of the Crows, second guessing what is gonna happen, whether Kaz has a plan or if Wylan can stay hidden. The ending is bittersweet, but it is exactly the way that felt right to the books and the characters. I think its easy for me to say that I enjoyed the Six of Crows duology more than the Grishaverse series. *****5 Stars.

That is all the books I read in April. I have a full pile of books for May, including some new release. Hopefully I get to finish them in time for another round up post.

Write again soon xx

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Bookish and The Beast by Ashley Poston : Review

*I was sent this book by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
I am gonna start this review with saying I have been waiting for this books for years. I don't mean I have been waiting for this specific book to be published for years (which I have, ever since it was announced) but a retelling of Beauty and the Beast, that is packed full of nerdy references that make me feel nostalgic and part of  a community that gets the inside jokes. This book is everything I have been looking for in a book for years and I can genuinely say that.
Bookish and the Beast follows Rosie Thorne a 17 year old girl, obsessed with Starfield ( a sci-fi show) who at a con met a mystery cosplayer who stole her heart, but never found out their name. Now Vance Reigns is our ultimate Hollywood Bad Boy, after many bad encounters with the press he is now exiled to a little town till her turns 18, but he just cant seem to forget a beautiful girl he met whilst in disguise. Their worlds collide when Rosie has to work alongside Vance to pay of a debt of a rare Starfield Novel that was accidentally destroyed. (Major Ouran High School Host Club vibes if youve ever seen it)
Okay so real talk, to say I love Ashley Poston's book would be an understatement, she knows how to delve into the world of fandom and make her readers feel included and smile at the references in her books. However Bookish and the Beast excelled all expectations I had of it, I had previously loved Geekerella and The Princess and the Fangirl, but this book completely knocked it out of the book. It has honestly become one of my favorites books of all time, I have already recommended it to friends because I know how much a book like this can easily make people fall in love with a story. 
Now I cant talk about this book without mentioning that it is a retelling of Beauty and the Beast. (My favourite fairytale/Disney Movie) The way Poston has brought this to the modern way was exceptional, who else could be a beast nowadays but a Hollywood Bad Boy who you get to see the most he acts completely beastly to Rosie but also the softer moments when he is by himself and wanting to be better, its such a refreshing and enjoyable take on the beast character. 
So although there aren't any talking furniture in this book that doesn't mean we don't get a full cast of incredible side character, for example Vance's dog Sansa (Best name ever #HouseStark) who without her our story wouldn't exist she really is  good girl and Space Dad (Rosie's Dad) who is incredibly enjoyable character and I would love to try his Chocolate Murder Pancakes. Also it wouldn't be a Once Upon a Con story without bringing some of the previous book characters back, having Imogen be a part of Vance's quieter moments was sweet to see and she showed us his human side as much as he can be mean beast at other times.
Overall this book is the perfect nerdy hug in a book, and I couldn't put it down, I finished it with a day and was sad as soon as it was over. It is the kind of book that you will never forget how much it made you smile and laugh and the corny and geeky jokes. I highly recommend it for anyone for who loves cons and everything fandom, it makes me wish every time I read her books that Starfield was an actual show and film series because I know I'd be right up there with Rosie and Vance loving every second of it.
  Write again soon xx
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Review : Loved - P.C & Kristen Cast

*I was sent this book by the publisher in exchange for an honest review. So it is no secret that the House of Night series was one of my all time favourite series as a teenager growing up; Vampyres, magic and a boarding school, what more could a 14 year old YA reader want in a series. Needless to say I devoured this series, every book that came out I would read as soon as I got my hands on it. Still to this day I adore this series, the characters, the world and the friendship and even just the nostalgia from reading it as a teenager. 
When I heard that there was a new House of Night book, I had to read it, to delve back into the world of the Nerd Herd and House of Night and my favourite character Stevie Rae Johnson ( also can someone please cast me as her in the adaptation please!) 
Loved is the newest installment of the House of Night series, bringing back High Priestess Zoey Redbird and the rest of the Nerd Herd returning back to the Tulsa House of Night, after being apart for a year, to celebrate Zoey's 18th birthday, but nothing ever goes to plan does it. 
Loved starts with Zoey living her life as the brand new High Priestess of the House of Night and Leader of the North America Vampyre Council, our Zoey Redbird has come a long way from being marked just over a year ago and now danger is stirring and she needs her Nerd Herd to help.
I really enjoyed delving straight back into this world, the lore, the characters and the magic that follows it throughout the plot without ever feeling overused and convenient to the plot. I had forgotten how much these characters had gone thorough, especially when remembering characters that are no longer part of the story. It has a beautiful way of surprising you with what comes next, everything I thought I knew what was going to happen I was happily mistaken.
Characters got their second chances to live in this book both metaphorically and literally and I couldn't be happier about it, even characters I didn't even contemplate being part of the story becoming some of the most intriguing parts of the plot was incredibly enjoyable to read as it gave another world to play upon in the world.  There is not a doubt in my mind that this story will continue. I wont give spoilers as I want readers to be as surprised as i was for how the book ended as i did not seeing coming and i am very thankful or that, though now I am pretty sure we have not seen the last of Zoey Redbird and her Nerd Herd, and i for one am looking forward to what they face next.
Merry Meet Merry Part and Merry Meet Again. Blessed Be.
Write again soon xx  

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What Feminism Means to Me #GuiltyFeministBook

I'm a feminist but .... my favourite line from the podcast I wait to hear every week.

I have thought of myself as being a feminist for meany years and I honestly couldn't tell you when I first associated myself with that label.

I remember when I was 18 or 19 and I was in a literature class at uni in which we covered feminism, our teacher asked us to raise our hands if we were feminists raised their hands all female, there were three guys in our class, two of whom were my friends. The lesson went on to talk about the patriarchy and the waves of feminism and the hypocrisies of life that go against women and at the end of the class, my teacher as the same question, this time everyone raised their hand. 

That is my first vivid memory of calling myself a feminist 

Since then I have tried to learn as much about feminism and act like a feminist as much as I can and yes, I slip up.

I'm a feminist but sometimes I mess up a being a feminist. 

To me, being a feminist is plain and simple, everyone is the same, and should be treated the same. This is as far as I’m aware the core value of Feminism, and yet it is misconstrued over and over by some. Claiming that because I am a feminist I must hate men! On the contrary I love men, I love my dad and brothers, my boyfriend, my friends and my nephew who will soon make his arrival.

Feminism is bringing people together to realise that everyone is the same and trying to help out everyone we can so all of our voices are heard, so we are a community that never breaks. A movement that has brought so many freedom and has given me freedom to say what I think and stand up for myself and my fellow women, when people try to tell us we can’t do something because of our gender and when people try to discriminate, it means we will stand beside one another and show the bullies that they cant win.

To me feminism means choice, freedom, equality and most of all it means community. People standing together supporting one another.

Please go and buy The Guilty Feminist, it is an incredible read. Also go listen to the podcast you wont regret it!

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I Hate / Love My Body

I never talk about my body or weight issues on my blog, because sometimes I feel it is too personal to talk about and then I think "why would anyone want to know or care about how I look." The genuine answer is that they don't, nobody really cares about how you look as much as yourself. 
I have had body issues and issues with my weight since I was a child, and I don't want this to come across as I am blaming anyone for my issues as they are mine and mine alone, but there were a lot of factors into why I had issues as a child, growing up and now even as an adult. I am ashamed to say I look into the mirror every morning to see the size of my stomach. The part about me that I hate the most. 
Ever since I was young I was a dancer, a ballet dancer to be precise and so that comes with a preconcieved idea of how you should look becuase of professional ballerinas and as a child who wanted nothing more than to become professional, the way I looked made me unhappy. I wasnt overweight or anything like that as a child, I was fine, a little pudgy sure. Hey I was a kid who loved sweets and food, it was to be expected. As well, I was short and so comparing myself to the other girls in my ballet classes who were tall and slim, made me dislike how I looked. I was a CHILD.
As I got older I became aware of diet culture from friends, family and the media, oh that lovely media who teaches young girls that unless you are skinny, you aren't beautiful. I was again a teenager who adored food, I was thankfully taking dance classes a couple of times a week as well as PE classes at school so I was exercising enough to make my body a little more in shape. But I still wasn't completely happy with how I looked. I couldn't even escape it at home, my mum and sister were constantly on diets and restricting their food and that was something I never wanted to take part in. My dad would make comments like "Shouldn't you be on a diet" when he saw me indulge in food. I would reply saying "No, when have I ever been on a diet? I don't plan to go on one either". 
That has remained true to this day. I have never in my life been on a diet, for the simple reason of I don't want to restrict myself from food. That's the kind of person I am. I just eat healthier and go to the gym instead. I genuinely enjoy working out and exercising and I feel amazing when I do it.
That's when I started feeling great about my body, after I graduated I was working out almost five times a week and with a personal trainer, I wasn't doing this because I wanted to change how I looked. (It may have started out like that when I first joined the gym) but because I loved getting fit and working out and making my body stronger. I once was able to sumo press 30kg and I was so incredibly proud of that.
 Then I started boxing, and oh my goodness I adored it and my personal trainer was incredible and although I no longer train with him I still consider him a good friend and I will always be thankful for him for introducing me to boxing. I got so much stronger for it and I was in great shape, and managed to get to my dream weight, which I never thought was possible. 
Even though I got to my dream weight and was exercising and eating well, it was impossible to maintain that when I went back to University to study for my MA. Student life is well known for not having the greatest ideal of food and health even though I tried my best. In regards to my fitness it had decreased but that was inevitable due to me having classes and deadlines, however I did join my University's boxing society and doing hardcore workouts there which I loved and kept me active.
Through all of this my weight and view of my body has fluctuated, there were time when I loved my body and how I looked and sometimes this when I didn't even exercise and times when I was the fittest I had ever been and hated how I looked in the mirror. The pictures at the top of this post were taken 5 months apart. The first, a couple of days after Christmas when my fitness has started to decrease because of my deadlines and then the second from the start of this month (May) when I haven't trained since February and the difference is visible but in actuality the weight difference is only a couple of pounds. 
The reason I have spoken about my weight and fitness journey is to show how my body and mindset have been throughout my life and its true there are days when I cannot stand how my body looks, when I feel big and hate myself for not eating as well as I should or not going to the gym and then put myself in a horrible mood because I am measuring my value on my weight, size and body. But despite all of that...
I love my body. 
I really do, my body has been through so much, both through what life has put it through and what I personally have put it through and it has always come out stronger. My body is the place where my heart,mind and soul are and they are so incredibly important to me, so how could I ever not loved what protects and homes them? 
Looking at the pictures above, it is easy to think that I am happier in myself in one of of them than the other, but honestly I was exceeding happy when both of these photos were taken, regardless of how I looked. I am incredibly fortunate to have incredible friends and supportive family and a caring boyfriend who are always there to help me remember that how I look isn't the be all and end all like how I think, and that I am so much more than a number on a scale or a size on a clothes label. 
My body is me, and yes I may have my down days where I forget how amazing my body is and hate the sight of it and then hate myself, but beneath all of that self judgement, I love my body and I am so incredibly proud of it and what it can do. I just wish I learnt that a long time ago.
Write again soon  xxx
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Hello 23

So I'm 23 tomorrow. That feels weird to me as I have felt so comfortable being 22. I feel like 22 was my age. Now that might sound weird but being 22 was the year when I felt the most myself. Being 22 I have learnt so much and grown so much as a person even though I will deny it constantly but I genuinely think its true. I have moved out properly for the first time away from my family and moved to London and started a whole new adventure. It feels almost like I'm starting a new chapter with being 23, and I know that sounds incredibly stupid as age is literally just a number but it does feel that way to me.  I'm hoping when I am 23 that maybe I will start to feel like an adult, although I very much doubt it, but who knows? I'm ready for a new adventure and maybe this year could bring a lot of new things into my life, if being 22 has shown me anything, it has shown literally anything can happen and some of the best things are unplanned.  I am going into this new age in one of the happiest places I think I have ever been in, I am genuinely happy with  where I am in life and that feels amazing in comparison to previous years. I have incredible friends both IRL and URL, a boyfriend who is incredibly lovely, a supportive family and a purpose in life. I literally couldn't be happier than I am right now. So goodbye 22. Hello 23. Lets see what you've got for me. Write again soon xxx      Twitter / Bloglovin'

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Living with Anxiety*

This is not a pretty subject, because Anxiety isn't pretty. Its hard and horrible and debilitating and something I have lived with for the majority of my life. 
I have had anxiety since I was 12 years old, but I didn't realise it until I was 18 years old. For the longest time I was told I was just a worrier and I should just get over it and stop thinking about whatever was making me nervous. I have memories of being 12 years old hiding in my room after school begging the phone not to ring and be for me, My heart would pound out of my chest whenever the phone went. I had no idea why I felt that way I just knew I did. 
It only got worse as I got older. I would get so anxious of things I couldn't control to the point where I would feel physically sick. But back then no one really knew about anxiety disorders so how was I ever to know, that I wasn't weird, odd or broken because of these things that in reality were minute but they made my heart race and hands shake. It wasn't until I found a YouTuber called Zoella who talked about anxiety that it finally came together, and I could start to understand why I felt that way.
When I was 18 it started to get worse, and I had to tell my parents, they didn't understand until I explained to them what I was going through, they were supportive and helped me when I needed them.
After that I moved out for university and then it started again but this time I knew ways to manage it and how to fight against it, I even turned to the services at my university who I knew could help. I still struggle with it now, but I accept it now, its a fight I have to deal with everyday but I know how to fight back when it gets to overwhelming. Telling my friends why sometimes I would decline invitations to go out or drink is tough but my friends are incredibly supportive and they know when to offer a hand to help me when I need it. 
Mental health was always something I was ashamed of talking about when I was younger because I thought everyone would think I was being dramatic or seeking attention (which many people did, those people are no longer part of my life) but growing up I found out that I shouldn't be ashamed of something I cant control. I've learnt how to deal with it and live with it, it doesn't always have to put a stop to my life and what I'm doing, I've learnt how to fight against it when I can, and ask for help when I need it, this is especially hard for me. 
Anxiety isn't pretty, but neither is fighting a losing battle. I don't plan to lose this one.
I was asked to write about my experiences with Mental Health by Millercare ,  they provide living and disability aids to help those with a disability, chronic illness and mental health in order to give them the best quality of life that they can. They are an amazing website who help so many people have a better quality of life.
Write again soon xxx



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