No Longer A Child?

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It shouldn't be a surprise to me now, that sooner or later I was going to grow up. (as much as I hate saying it, I want to be a child forever and live in Neverland but anyway) This Friday I will be turning 20 years old. I will no longer be a teenager, and being completely honest that terrifies me, the idea that I don't have the safety net of being a teenager anymore is new and differently and frightfully scary.  

Its not even the number that scares me, its the fact that I will no longer be a teenager. A time in your life, when you're allowed to make mistakes, do stupid things, and be irresponsible, all because you're a teenager, and everyone expects it of teenagers, because that's when we grow up. But now with that title gone, I feel this huge amount of pressure to have my life figured out, to have my life in control and be responsible for everything and anything that goes on in my life, and I don't want that, I am still a child, I still need to learn, I'm not perfect and I never will be. 

No one ever matures overnight and on your 20th birthday become a fully fledged adult. That is not the way it works.

I still want to make mistakes and do stupid things because that how people learn. That how people grow, and believe me I have a lot more to learn before I am even anywhere near becoming an adult. Let's face I am still a child, I get things wrong, I make mistakes and although I am a responsible person, and I still act slightly immature sometimes and I definitely don't always act my age, and I like that about myself.

 It's obvious when Friday rolls around and I turn 20 years old I am not going to magically become an adult. I'll be the same person, who is just one day older, but knows she is okay with not being an adult just yet.


Write again soon xxx
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4 comments

  1. Aww Holly, I love this post and from someone who's the ripe old age of 22, I've got to say that hardly anyone has it all worked out by 20! Some people do, of course but from my own experience, I'm 22, 23 this year and still have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I still make mistakes (every day) and still have LOTS to learn. When I was 16/17 I thought I'd be "grown up" by the time I was this age - moved out, everything but your 20's are still so young! So don't worry and have an AMAZING birthday on Friday! Eat too much cake, squeal with excitement over presents and have fun because just because you're technically an "adult" it doesn't mean you have to stop having fun! :) xxx

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    1. Aww Thank you Jenny! That means a lot, I was the same when I was 16 but I now I realise how realistic you have to be. Thank you I will! Don't worry I don't think ill ever stop having fun :) xxx

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  2. Awww Holly, it's officially your birthday now!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU BEAUTIFUL HUMAN!!!! Trust me, growing up doesn't mean knowing everything or not making mistakes; I should know hehe. You are an amazing friend and I'm glad to have met you! <3 We'll catch up soon! xxx

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    1. Thank you Jemma!!! <3 That's good to hear, I'm sure there are a lot more mistakes I'm going to make whilst growing up. Aww you are so sweet! You are an amazing friend too and I am so happy to have met you as well! <3 Yes definitely! Cant wait to see you again ! xxx

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